Thanks to Guide to Online Schools for naming Girls Guide one of the top five fantasy football websites! We appreciate the recognition among a long list of qualified contenders! View the entire list HERE!
GG2FF Voted Top 5 Fantasy Football Websites!
31 01 2011Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: Girls Guide, guide to online schools, top fantasy football websites
Categories : Fantasy Football
Powder Puff Football?
24 01 2011I was rooting for the Packers and the Jets this past weekend. More the Jets than the Packers but I wanted to make specific picks on both games.
So I got the wrong one out of the two if I had to choose, but it was a nice little post-season.
We watched all decked out in green in my friend Kimo’s newly redone, beautiful backyard. (Advantage L.A.).
Kimo said he wanted Bears/Steelers to win because he wants “in the mud” football.
I said, “What do you mean Keems? Jets/Packers would be pussy football?”
“Ya, Jord.”
“Well then I’m rooting for powder puff football!” chimed in Let.
“Ya, Keems, I’ll do my nails during the game if I want to!
We could have gotten into the whole “I’d rather have a good-looking quarterback than a defiling one” thing, but that seemed a little over-played at the time. It’s all good. We’re all friends.
So I’m off to Dallas in two weeks for the Su Pa Bo. Not sure if I’ll go to the game now, we’ll see. But I suppose I’m rooting for the Packers. Technically, there are more individual Steelers whom I love. Wallace was a monster for me this year. Who doesn’t root for Polamalu? And my favorite Steeler of all is Tomlin. Love him. But the Green Bay D/ST was on my awesome Girls Guide Pro team, I think Rogers deserves the title, and eff the Steelers for knocking out the Jets.
Bring on the cheese.
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Tags: bears, in the mud, jets, packers, powder puff football, steelers, Su Pa Bo, super bowl
Categories : Fantasy Football
Final Wrap Up of the Season
4 01 2011Great season everyone! I’m sad it’s over, but at least I won’t have to be haunted by that godforsaken “Your wish has been granted” Yahoo! pop up ad anymore…
Here are the final results of the season:
League Home Sauce:
1st place – Fiery Foxes (Wendy and Bryna)
2nd place – Trash Truckers (Lauren Howard)
3rd place – Funky Hookers (Liz and Gayle)
In this league, the regular season standings were maintained throughout the playoffs. Now there’s something I’ve never seen before! Way to play it, ladies!
GG2FF:
1st place – Smack and Cheese (Me – Yipee!)
2nd place – Hollywood Highness (Lisa)
3rd place – Woody’s Johnson (Morgan)
I didn’t win it until Tuesday, but Vick and All Day took it on home for me. Winning is completely validating. All of a sudden, there is no mention of luck. No, no, mama’s a lucky girl. Morgan was the me of the pro league, cruising through the season, losing in the semi-finals, and coming back with a vengeance in the last game of the year.
Girls Guide Pro:
1st place – Eat Prey Destroy (Melissa Jacobs)
2nd place – LareeRocks (Laree)
3rd place – Fat Sweaters (Me – yay!)
Winning with Randy Moss in your starting line up: impressive or obnoxious? Either way, The Football Girl got it done. Laree nabbed the silver on a choke week, and I hung onto to a medal with my killer team rising to the occasion. Santa was a week late with the numbers I needed from Forte, but it was nice to end the season in style.
Girls Guide Camp:
1st place – Tightends (Laurie)
2nd place – Blue Candy (Andee)
3rd place – Hog and Rocks (Stephanie)
Andee’s first and only loss of the year wound up being in the Su Pa Bo. “Now I understand the pain of fantasy, Commish,” she confessed. Laurie now owes Aaron Rodgers a gift basket. Steph owes her bronze to her MVP, Arian Foster.
Great job, ladies!!! Stay tuned for draft plans starting in June! Now on to concentrating on hoops…
Touch back with you next season!
oxoxo
- Commish
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Tags: Fantasy Football, final wrap up, girls football
Categories : Fantasy Football
Final Monday Night Matchup Menus (Last Week’s) – New Orleans Saints!
3 01 2011Well, I’m out of sorts. It’s Monday and there’s no game tonight. But it’s my mother’s bday so at least there’ll be some distraction.
Last week I was in Vermont, (yes, during the storm!) and made a Saints meal in my country house for the boys. The Saints are one of my favorite teams so it was nice to end the season in their honor. Here’s what I threw together:
Starter: Drew Brie with Marques ColStone Ground Crackers
Side: Jeremy Shiitockey with PiHeirloom Tomatoes
Main: Fire Grilled Tracy Porterhouse
Drew Brie with Marques ColStone Ground Crackers
We’re starting off easy. Cheese and Crackers.

Jeremy Shiitockey with PiHeirloom Tomatoes
Ingredients:
3 c shiitake mushrooms, sliced
1 box baby heirloom tomatoes, sliced in half
1 bunch scallions, finely chopped
1 small onion, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 T lemon oil
olive oil
salt
pepper
Procedure:
Salt the tomatoes. Heat some olive oil in a pan over medium high. Throw in the scallions and onions and cook until translucent, about 2-3 min. Add the mushrooms and cook another few minutes until the shitakes have absorbed the liquid and released it. Add the garlic and tomatoes and stir in. Season with salt, pepper, and the lemon oil. Stir. Cook for another few minutes and serve.
Fireplace Tracy Porterhouse
Ingredients:
Porterhouse steak
salt
pepper
fireplace grill
Procedure:
Liberally season both sides of the steaks with salt and pepper. Build a fire. Once it’s died down so that the flame is still going but is below the grill, place the steaks on the fire. Cook each side for about 4-5 minutes, depending on the height of the flame and your desired cook level, I like medium rare.
Don’t play with the steaks on the fire, it ruins the crust.
Now Man Up! And Chow Down!!
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Tags: brie cheese, drew brees, heirloom tomatoes, jeremy shockey, marques colston, new orleans saints, pierre thomas, porterhouse steak, shiitake mushrooms, steak on the fireplace, stone ground crackers, tracy porter, vermont country home
Categories : Fantasy Football
Week 15 Wrap Up and Monday Night Matchup Menus: Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings
21 12 2010It’s a Brett Chevre running theme:
Johnny Lox and Goat Cheese Stuffed Matt ForTaters
Visanthe Panko Crusted Goat Cheese and Tomato Salad
and a Guavaris Jaiquirison for the cocktail
Johnny Lox and Goat Cheese Stuffed Matt ForTaters

Ingredients:
4 oz. smoked salmon, finely chopped (Yes, technically this is not lox, it’s nova; lox is cured and nova is cold-smoked, but I like it better.)
4 oz. soft goat cheese
3 T dill, finely chopped
2 T tarragon, finely chopped
2 T chives, finely chopped
3 T scallions, finely chopped
1 T lemon zest (1 small lemon)
2 T lemon juice (1 small lemon)
12 small potatoes (new or creamers work well)
1 c black sesame seeds
olive oil
salt
pepper
Procedure:
Boil the potatoes until slightly tender, about 15 minutes. Drain and let cool. Slice them in half and scoop out the middle using a melon baller or a paring knife, making them into tiny little bowls. Discard the center (or save for mashed potatoes!). Dip the shells into some olive oil and place skin side down on a foil lined tray. Broil the hollowed potatoes until brown and crisping, about 5-10 minutes. Remove from oven and drain on paper towel lined platter.
In a bowl, combine the smoked salmon, chevre, dill, tarragon, chives, scallions, lemon juice and zest until well incorporated. Scoop a little of the salmon mixture and roll it into a ball. Place the black sesame seeds on a plate. Roll the salmon filling ball in the sesame seeds until nicely covered. Pop the sesame coated salmon ball into a potato shell. Repeat with the rest. Aren’t they cute?!?!
Visanthe Panko Crusted Goat Cheese Salad
Ingredients:
2 oz. chevre log
2 Roma tomatoes, slow roasted
1 Persian cucumber
½ avocado
2 T pea sprouts
1 head frisee
1 T dressing of choice
1 c panko breadcrumbs, seasoned with parley, salt and pepper
1 egg
½ c flour
olive oil
Procedure:
Using unflavored dental floss, cut the goat cheese log into discs ½” thick. Place flour in a bowl. Beat egg with a t of water in another bowl. Place seasoned panko in a third bowl. (You can toast the panko in the oven at 425 for five minutes beforehand to bring out the flavor.) Dip each goat cheese disc into the flour bowl and fully cover. Then dredge it in the egg and then the panko to fully coat. Place coated cheese on a wax paper lined tray. Repeat until all of the goat cheese is coated in the breadcrumbs. Place the wax tray in the freezer for at least 2 hours.
When you’re ready to make the salad, heat some oil in a pan on high heat. Cook the frozen cheese in the oil until browning. Flip and brown the other side. Remove to a paper towel lined plate.
Throw some washed frisee in a bowl. Coat with dressing of choice. Add a few halved roasted tomatoes, sliced and salted cucumber, avocado, and pea shoots. Place the panko coated goat cheese on top. Enjoy!
Guavaris Jaiquirison
Ingredients:
2 oz light rum
1 oz lime juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz guava, muddled
Procedure:
Muddle guava in shaker. Add rum, lime juice, and simple syrup. Pour over ice.
Week 15 Wrap Up
And then there was one. Smack and Cheese made it to the GG2FF Su Pa Bo! (Thank you Vick, Nicks, Marshall, and Jets D!)
Fat Sweaters got knocked out by Eat Prey Destroy. (Like I’d have started Garrard over Brady…)
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Tags: Brett Favre, Chevre, Chicago Bears, Guava Daiquiri, Johnny Knox, Matt Forte, Minnesota Vikings, Panko Crusted Goat Cheese, Recipes, Smoked Salmon Potato Caneles, Tavaris Jackson, Visanthe Schiancoe
Categories : Fantasy Football
Week 14 Wrap Up
13 12 2010The playoffs are here!
I don’t know about you but I’ve been finding myself doing a lot of consoling, saying a lot of “Don’t worry, you’ll kick ass next year,” “I don’t blame you for hating Ryan Mathews,” and “Of course you could vow to never own a Panther!”
Most of my results aren’t all that exciting.
In League Home Sauce, Shiso Spicy lost to Howard’s Heroes but both teams were already eliminated from the playoffs.
In GG2FF, Smack and Cheese killed it (despite Multiple Scoregasms’ kicker getting 29 pts!), but had already clinched the third place slot.
In Girls Guide Pro, Fat Sweaters had a bye.
In the Camp League, Pajama Drama’s season was over (but would have had 2nd highest score).
and in Battle of the Sexes, Golf Fart & Urinals lost the first round of playoffs to Cromartie’s Condoms, The Football Girl’s Melissa Jacobs’ team. McFadden, D Jax, Falcons D, Brady, and MJD gave her high score of the week. That’s OK, we face each other again this week in GGPro and I’m out for revenge!
Touch back with you next week!
ox
-JZ
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Tags: girls guide pro, nfl, the football girl
Categories : Fantasy Football
Jordan and Dava Outtakes and the ghetto Baltimore Ravens @ Houtson Texans MNMM meal
13 12 2010Sorry guys,
I didn’t have time to test my recipes for the BAL/HOU game tonight.
The Matt Squab and the Baltimore Crab Dip will have to wait.
Go to town and crack open an ice cold Arian Foster beer.
….and nibble on some Neil Crackers and JaColby Jones Cheese and call it a day.
In the meantime.
Here are some outtakes from the ARI/SF video.
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Tags: Arian Foster, Baltimore Ravens, Blooper Reel, Houston Texans, Jacoby Jones, Matt Schaub, Neil Rackers, Outtakes
Categories : Fantasy Football
Week 13 Wrap Up
7 12 2010Well, well, well… We’re at the border of regular season and post season in fantasy. It’s do or die now. I’ve done and I’ve died.
Here’s what happened.
Shiso Spicy vs. Sticky Rice: 110.25 – 57.40
The SF/ARI MNMM duo goes to battle. I didn’t really mean to kick Dava’s ass. Especially since she did such a great job in the kitchen. And even more so because I am out of the running for the playoffs and she’s still alive. Oh well. Glad my kick ass team finally showed up for work (namely Brees, Sidney Rice, Bradshaw, and Forte)…
Smack and Cheese vs. Backfield in Motion: 99.24 – 97.44
This small margin of victory was ineffectual. I already clinched and Emily is still in fourth. One more week to see if she can hang on to the 4th playoff spot! AP, more of that in the coming weeks, please!
Pajama Drama vs. Hogs & Rocks: 111.56 – 111.79
Awesome match up. This seemed to be my fate for this league all season. I’m 3rd in points and 9th in the standings. Brady, Bradshaw and Colston couldn’t quite cancel out Foster, Wayne, and Green-Ellis. It wouldn’t have been such a nail biter if I had played Davis over Tamme at TE. Oh well, GG Camp league, it was fun while it lasted!
Fat Sweaters vs. The Garcias: 90.45 – 60.05
Going into my bye week with a bang? I sure hope my team doesn’t choke when it counts the most… My RBs aren’t front runners in the stud department but they seem to get the job done. We’ll see!
Golf Fart & Urinals vs. Gay Pirates: 90.60 – 79.98
I did it! Made the playoffs even with a slumping Manning. My multiple Patriots and Chris Ivory made that possible. You just know Pierre’s going to come back and stir up trouble for the playoffs…
OK, off to make the bacon latkes.
Touch back with you next week!
-JZ
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Tags: gg2ff, nfl
Categories : Fantasy Football
SF @ ARI Cooking Video with Special Guest Dava Krause
5 12 2010Jordan shows Dava Krause how to cook up the SF/ARI meal.
All recipes were posted HERE!
Dava asked a bunch of excellent questions during the cooking session.
We’ve compiled them and put them in the “tip jar.”
Tip Jar
Dava: What is the difference between baking and roasting?
Jordan: Just temperature. Baking is generally around 350 degrees and roasting is generally around 425, it’s a higher temperature.
Dava: So we’ve got the oven on 5 past 420.
Jordan: Good to go.
Dava: Are the seeds OK to keep in the chili peppers?
Jordan: Yes, the seeds have all the heat. We’re infusing the oil with the heat and then straining the peppers and seeds out.
Dava: These are super small peppers anyway, it seems like they’d be hard to deseed.
Jordan: Well if we wanted to you could do it. Just slice them vertically and scrape the seeds out.
Dava: Is this the only way to infuse?
Jordan: Another way would be to not heat it, and just let the peppers sit in the oil for a few days.
Dava: OK, but that’s like you’re planning dinner 5 days in advance.
Jordan: Ya, you’re making jars of it.
Dava: I feel like I always over or under use garlic.
Jordan: When you cook garlic it’s not as big of a deal. Raw garlic runs the risk of being overpowering.
Dava: Why are you doing the tarragon herb last?
Jordan: Tarragon is a leafy herb. Leafy herbs get added at the end, you don’t cook them. Woody herbs can be included in the cooking process. Some leafy herbs are basil and tarragon. Some woody herbs are thyme and rosemary.
Dava: How do you know they’re woody? They’re happy to see you?
Jordan: Ya, and by their construction. They have sticks and wood elements and a woodier flavor.
Dava: Ah, ya, they’re more tree looking. The others actually look like leaves.
Dava: So we’re just lucky that this lemon doesn’t have seeds.
Jordan: Yes, but no, there are lemons that are bred to be seedless. I think it’s done the same way they make a pineapple which is the only fruit I can think of that doesn’t have seeds. It’s done by cross-pollination.
Dava: It’s an infertile lemon.
Jordan: Ya, it’s the mule of the citrus.
Dava: This lemon needs to adopt.
Dava: Peeling the squash seems difficult.
Jordan: It wasn’t the easiest, but you know, we’re all still alive.
Dava: Is there an easier way to deal with this butternut squash than peeling it?
Jordan: Well if you don’t need to uphold the shape of the flesh, like if you’re mashing or pureeing it, you can just simply slice the whole gourd in half and roast it in its shell and then scoop out the meat.
Dava: Talk to me about the blue cheese chunk size.
Jordan: Since we’re melting the blue cheese into the polenta we can keep the chunks bigger. If I were putting the blue cheese in a salad, I would crumble it into smaller pieces. I think with blue cheese a little bit goes really far. Size isn’t as important in this dish, believe it or not.
Dava: It’s the motion of the cheese.
Jordan: Ya, the motion of the ocean.
Dava: So folding is basically gentler stirring.
Jordan: Yes, you’re basically taking the spoon and lifting a little bit of the contents of the pan and dumping it on top of itself.
Dava: I’m always afraid I’m going to over cook the fish or under cook it…
Jordan: Ya, more of a risk to over cook it because under cooked salmon is actually still tasty.
Jordan: Pour some of the sauce into the pan.
Dava: The heat’s not on.
Jordan: That’s OK, you don’t want to have heat on an empty pan, I think it ruins it.
Jordan: You can remove the fish from the heat when it is a little underdone because it will continue to cook a bit even after it’s off the heat.
Dava: Is all fish like that?
Jordan: Everything that you’re cooking will always continue to cook a little longer when it’s off the heat because it’s still hot. That’s why if you want something to stop cooking immediately, you throw it into an ice bath.
Dava: Oooh, like asparagus!
Dava: For round 2 of the salmon, do we resauce when we replatter?
Jordan: Yes, keep the extra sauce on the side and add more to make sure the fillets are always fully bathing in it. But that lowers the temperature of the pan so keep an eye on it to adjust cooking time.
Dava: Would you just use sesame oil to flavor something but not to cook?
Jordan: Yes. Sesame oil is concentrated. A little goes a long way. Canola or olive, etc. you can have as a base and use a lot of it, but sesame would be too overpowering.
Thanks for tuning in!
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Tags: Arizona Cardinals, Cooking Tips, Cooking video, Dava Krause, jordan zucker, san francisco 49ers
Categories : Fantasy Football
Monday Night Matchup Menus: New York Jets @ New England Patriots
3 12 2010OK, this is the 2nd Monday night game for both of our teams this week! If you don’t want to repeat making the Tomato Bready or the Mark SanCheese Dip, here are some more options!
Watercress Welker Salad with Dijon Branch Dressing
B.”L.T.”
Dirty Antonio CroMartini
Watercress Welker Salad with Dijon Branch Dressing
Ingredients:
Dressing:
1 T garlic, minced (I make mine slightly pasty with salt and the back of a knife)
2 T dijon mustard
2 T lemon juice
6 T olive oil
Splash of hot sauce
salt
freshly ground pepper
Pecans:
½ c pecans
1 T butter
1 t cayenne
½ t Hawaiian salt
Pepitas:
½ c pepitas
1 t Hawaiian salt
Salad:
1 pear, diced
1 head watercress
1 c baby arugula

Procedure
Dressing:
Put all of the ingredients in a jar, secure the lid, and shake!
Pecans:
Melt the butter in a pan on medium heat, add the nuts and the spices and stir until well coated. Toast in pan for a few minutes but do not let the pecans burn. Remove from heat.
Pepitas:
Toast the seeds in a pan on medium heat, stirring so they don’t burn. Add salt and stir. Remove from heat when the seeds are browning.
Salad:
Rip the leaves off of the stems of the watercress head. Throw in a bowl with the arugula. Add the pear, nuts, and seeds. Dress with Dijon and toss to coat well.
B.L.T.
Ingredients:
1 T chipotle mayo
½ avocado, sliced
4 strips bacon, crispy
2 plum tomatoes, slow roasted
½ c arugula
2 slices bread (I use whole wheat or sourdough)
4 leaves basil
2 slices, cucumber
1 soft boiled egg, sliced
olive oil
aged balsamic vinegar
salt
pepper
Procedure:
To make the chipotle mayonnaise, add 1 c mayo, 1 t adobo sauce, 1 chipotle pepper, ½ lime, juiced, salt and pepper to a blender. Blend until smooth.
To make the bacon, place the bacon strips on a foil lined tray and place in a 425 degree oven for about 15 minutes until crispy. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain the strips.
To make the tomatoes, slice the plum tomatoes lengthwise and place skin down on a foil lined tray. SWOOPS the seed side and drizzle with a little balsamic as well. Cook in a 275 degree oven for about 3 – 4 hours, depending on the size of the tomatoes, until they are about half way shriveled, not completely dry.
To prepare the cumber, peel the dark skin off. Then using a cheese slicer, make vertical strips of the cucumber to get thin strips of the cucumber lengthwise. Season with salt.
To prepare the egg, place an egg in a pot and fill with water. Bring water to a boil. Once water is at a rolling boil, cook for 5 minutes. Remove egg and run under cold water. Crack and peel the shell. Slice the egg. The whites should be cooked and then yolks should still be dark yellow and slightly soft, almost runny.
To prepare the lettuce, toss arugula with olive oil, salt, pepper, (SWOOPS) and some aged balsamic vinegar. I sometimes go to town and use TRUFFLE SALT!!! MMMmmmmmmm!
To arrange the sammie: Spread some mayo on one slice of bread. Add a layer of avocado. Add a layer of egg. Add a layer of cucumber. Add a layer of basil. Add a layer of bacon. On the other piece of bread, add a layer of dressed lettuce and a layer of tomatoes. Close the sandwich. I like to weight it down in a heated pan to toast the bread and press it all together.
Add extra bacon if L.T. gets a TD!
Dirty Antonio CroMartini
Ingredients:
2 oz vodka, good (I like Belvedere, but had Grey Goose in the house leftover from a recent guest.)
1 oz olive juice (the brine from the can or jar)
3 blue cheese stuffed olives
splash hot sauce
Procedure:
I stuff my own olives and I don’t make a piping bag out of a plastic ziplock, I use my fingers. Take a pitted green olive and some crumbled blue cheese and stuff some of the cheese in the hole of the olive until it’s almost bursting.
Put some ice in a shaker. Add the vodka, olive juice, and hot sauce. Shake, Shake, Shake! Sift the liquid out of the shaker and into a martini glass. Poke a toothpick through three blue cheese stuffed olives and stick in the glass. And good for you if you don’t spill it. To me, martini glasses are the stilettos of barware: best looking, least functional.
Extra shot of vodka if Cromartie gets a pick!
Now Man Up! And Chow Down!
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Tags: Antonio Cromartie, BLT, Deion Branch, Dijon Dressing, Dirty Martini, LaDainian Tomlinson, LT, MNMM, New England Patriots, new york jets, Watercress Salad, Wes Welker
Categories : Fantasy Football


























