Girls’ Guide to Fantasy Football!!!

Trusty and Busty Commish:

In the late nineties during the height of her Sunday night Barney’s Beanery karaoke residency, Jordan would all too often find herself on her couch the next morning with a half eaten bowl of mac n cheese by her side and ESPN Sportscenter blaring in the background. Unable to share in this phenomenon with her girlfriends she schemed to find a way to enable them to relate.

Behold the genesis of League Home Sauce!
Three years ago she started an all girls fantasy football league knowing all too well her friends would channel their inner overachievers and quickly get into the sport. This was a success. They all took the idea and ran with it, and now have so much fun every football season. They’re hoping you will too.

The first draft board!

Barrelito Stouffer checks out the draft results

League Home Sauce Draft 2007

In October 2006, League Home Sauce hit Vegas (and the Vegoose festival). Their group costume was of course, a fantasy football team. Each girl dressed as a football player and wore custom jerseys. The name and number on each jersey was a different male fantasy.
Halloween 2006 – Fantasy Football Team
#3 Threesome, #18 Barely Legal, #7 Bed of Cash, #00 Twins, #69 In a Limo, #99 Ride Me High, #88 Striptease, #0 Virgin

Sarah, Jordan, and TeNeil as fantasy football girls

OFFICIAL LEAGUE COCKTAILS!
2006 – Zing Zang Bloody Mary (doesn’t need much doctoring but a litle pickle juice, olive juice, muddled jalepeno, and/or celery salt never hurt).

2006 League Home Sauce Cocktail - The Zing Zang Bloody Mary!

2007 – John Daly (This is an Arnold Palmer + Vodka). Our favorite version is equal parts Vodka, Pom Iced Tea, and Odwalla Lemonade.

2007 League Home Sauce Cocktail! The John Daly!

2008 – Beergarita (aka – white trash margarita). I was introduced to this particular libation on a trip to Alaska in 2006. In a blender, put a cup of tequila, half a can of crap beer (nothing with a strong flavor), half a can of frozen limeade, juice of half a lime, and lots of ice (specifically glacier ice if you have it handy).

2008 League Home Sauce Cocktail - The Beergarita!

2009 – Dark and Stormy Though some may say any dark rum will do, I’ll challenge the authenticity unless it is Goslings. My dear friend Lauren used to make these for me as our sunset cocktail at her place out in Montauk, NY. Fill a glass with ice, pour in the Goslings 2/3, and fill the last third with ginger beer (the spicier the better). Mmmmm!

Dark and Stormy

League Home Sauce Current Teams/Managers (and last year’s final standings):
Eastsidaz – Jaime Herman
Hollywood Mermaids – TeNeil Moore
Pocket Rulers – Jordan Zucker
Whale’s Vagina – Javelo sisters and Amy Stouffer
Femmes Fatales – Jackie Knoll and Tonya Ivey
Misstesteverde – Bryna Stiefel and Wendy Mantell
Pita’s Posse – Lauren Howard
ORLY YARLY – Sarah Lowery
Funky Flavors – Gayle Pacifici
Rock Explosion – Cathy Brough
Hooker All Stars – Liz Ko
Sticky Rice – Dava Krause

2007 Final Standings:
ORLY YARLY – Sarah Lowery
Team Kaya – TeNeil Moore
Rackstar Molasses – Jordan Zucker
Missestesteverdes – Bryna Stiefel
Femmes Fatales – Jackie Knoll and Tonya Ivey
Pita’s Posse – Lauren Howard
Eastsidaz – Jaime Herman
Rock Explosion – Cathy Brough
SD Whale V’s – Javelo sisters and Amy Stouffer
Sticky Rice – Dava Krause
Team Pacifici – Gayle Pacifici
Hooker All Stars – Liz Ko

Past Participants: Tiffany Taylor, Cristie Ayers, Nicole Levine, Emily Hutson