Week 3 Wrap Up

27 09 2010

Ah, our last week before the byes. And in LA, before football weather kicks in.
Here’s how I did:
Shiso Spicy vs. Femme Fatales: 131.65 – 112.15
I’m not the biggest handcuffer at drafts, but boy did my LT – Shonn Greene move turn out nicely. Guess which one I started. Time for soup!

Smack and Cheese vs. 1st Down Syndrome: 132.23 – 106.96
Not even going to complain that it wasn’t my best possible line up. But, Welcome to Miami, Brandon Marshall!!

Pajama Drama vs. Mighty Quinns: 81.74 – 87.68
Should have played Mike Wallace. Brandon Jackson failed me. (As did Coldston Colston).

Fat Sweaters vs. NY Steel Curtain: 97.95 – 116.65
All together now. Should have played Mike Wallace. Get this, if I had played Wallace instead of Forte at flex, I would have tied at 116.65. That would have been hot.

Golf Fart & Urinals vs. Awesome Sauce: 116 – 105.28
I needed Jennings to get less than 18 pts. Thankfully he took a nap after the first touchdown of the game.

We shot the first episode of Monday Night Match Up Menus. It should be posted by the end of the week so you’ll have all weekend to prepare for the Patriots @ Dolphins meal. Stay tuned! And adjust your line-up. We’ve got bye weeks!
oxoxo
- Commish





Week 2 Wrap Up

20 09 2010

This week poses the question: Would you rather have your team kick ass but lose to a tough match up, or have a shitty week but win due to an easy match up? Ah the quandary!

Here are my results of the week:

Shiso Spicy vs. Fiery Foxes: 95 – 119.50
I could have made marginal changes that would have tacked on a few pts here and there (i.e. play Sanchez over Brees – sorry to have missed that one), but my best possible score still wouldn’t have stood up to All Day and McCoy on the Fiery Foxes. Good job, girls.

Smack and Cheese vs. Mimi’s Team: 100.92 – 89.43
I won, but I’m filing a formal complaint with the SF D/ST – The sleeper that’s still effing sleeping!

Pajama Drama vs. Sunday Widow: 112.37 – 123.24
I would have won with Ryan and Bryant over Brady and Wallace, but I still had a decent week. McCoy is now my nemesis. I’ll win next week. Don’t lose hope.

Fat Sweaters vs. MISF: 73.60 – 66.90
A little GG2FF SAT prep – Fat Sweaters:Week 2 as Chicago Bears:Week 1. We won, but we sure didn’t try to. And I played my optimal line up.

Golf Fart & Urinals vs. Gay Pirates: 108 – 90.06
And that’s with Ochocinco being Ochostinko.

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos vs. Guy Incognito: 81.70 – 116.90
I’ll sleep well knowing that even if I had played Kevin Walter, I still would have lost… (and not just because it’ll be past 4am EST when I’ve landed and arrived home.)

For the second week in a row, my Sunday football drinking has been infringed upon by a dear friend’s wedding celebration (The bachelorette was on the 11th and the wedding was on the 18th). So both weekends mama found herself up on Sunday in bad shape and in serious need of some Tylenol Codeine, Dr. Pepper, and a horizontal position, (Holla!). However, I did make it to the Girls Guide Pro meet up at Pourhouse on restaurant row in the city for the Manning match up SNF Colts/Giants game.
Monday Night Football was Virgin Mile High (no, not in Denver and nothing involving a first time). I will continue to gripe about the waning nickel and dime-ing practices of Virgin America, but the wi-fi, outlets, and satellite certainly ease that pain. I basically accomplished what I would have in my own living room, but traveled across the country in the process. Almost more time efficient than the red-eye. Yes, I’ll be passing out immediately upon entering my apartment, but it’ll be bedtime anyway, not the start of the day when I’ll need an 8am nap.
P.S. The is why I snatched up Gore 1st round if he was avail. Team name change ideas include: The Gore Whores, The Gorey Details (courtesy of The OCD Chick), Simply Gore-geous, Gore-n To Run, Score with Gore, Gore-n Porn…





Week 1 Wrap Up:

16 09 2010

Week 1 is under our belts.
Let’s start with my results.
My team scores:
Shiso Spicy vs. Eastsidaz – 80.9 – 81.1
(Ouch! If I played anyone on my bench instead of Shonn Greene I’d have won by a land slide… proportionately.)

Smack and Cheese vs. Hollywood Highness – 97.49 – 101.41
(My team did pretty well, tough match-up.)

Pajama Drama vs. Vagabondia – 86.21 – 90.69
(My C.J. Spiller over Dez Bryant call was fatal)

Fat Sweaters vs. Joy of Rex – 132.85 – 90.55
(Ya, I had high score!)

Golf Fart & Urinals vs. Muppets Go Medieval – 118.42 – 67.56
(Second Highest Score!)

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos vs. The Otto-Man Empire 76.4 – 107.6
(Ya, he had high score)

Monday Morning Quarterbacking:
Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy. Who isn’t. I try to be smart and not put all of my eggs in one basket. If I start one guy in four leagues and he busts for the week, I’m screwed. But this isn’t smart if he goes big. So I didn’t play Hakeem Nicks in a league where I’m stacked at WR. Can I get a big gong sound, please! That cost me the loss in my original league. If I played Aromashodu over Floyd I’d have one in my camp league.

Monday Morning Back Patting:
Forte, Brady, Ochocinco, Welker, Nicks, and Bradshaw rule my world!

Jordan the Offensive Coordinator:
Chicago may have won their game against Detroit, but they sure didn’t try to. Why, WHY would they go for a fourth down instead of taking the lead with a field goal?!?!

On the bullshit Calvin Johnson recalled TD:
Football is not baseball. Though there is no crying in either. We like the booth review, we like the challenges; it makes it seem like the game is more accurately called. There isn’t a Gallardo shut out being spoiled by a bad safe at first call. Apparently the officials interpreted the rule correctly. The receiver needs to demonstrate control even after he hits the ground. (But the ground cannot cause a fumble in other situations.) Megatron wasn’t bobbling the ball. It wasn’t a Desean Jackson jack ass move where he intentionally spiked it. It clearly was a touchdown. Call it when it’s obvious. I hope they rewrite the rule.

Whose picture is this on Yahoo! under Leon Washington, cause it sure as shit isn’t Leon Washington?!?!?! Win a date with one of the ladies of Girls Guide if you can properly identify this man…

SO NOT Leon Washington!

Monday Match-Up Menu:

The Joe Tacco Bar
Ray Rice and Beans
Joe Guacco-mole
Mark Sancheese Dip
Pronn Green Chile

Jets vs. Ravens MNF Meal

Ray Rice and Beans
Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
1 cloves garlic, large, minced
1 c uncooked white rice
1 1/2 c chicken broth
1 bay leaf
2 cans canned black beans, drained
2 tomatoes, diced, salted (always)
salt
pepper
Procedure:
In a stockpot heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the onion and saute until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add the rice and cook for about 2 minutes more. Add the broth and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Cover, lower the heat to low, and simmer for 20 minutes. Add seasoning, black beans, and tomatoes. Stir.

Ray Rice and Beans

Prawn Greene Chile
Ingredients:
1 lb shrimp, peeled and cleaned
1 T olive oil
1/2 c half and half
2 poblano pepper, roasted, peeled, seeded, and chopped
2 limes, juice and zest
2 oz. tequila, silver
salt
pepper
Procedure:
Heat the oil in a pan over medium high. Add the chopped peppers. Stir in the tequila, lime juice, zest, and cream. Stir until the sauce thickens. SWOOPS the shrimp and add to pan. Cook for a few minutes and flip. Do not over cook the shrimp. Do not fumble the shrimp. Do not look at your opponent who owns Ray Rice.

Pronn Greene Chile

Mark Sancheese Dip
Bobby Flay taught me how to make this when I was his guest last year on Grill It! (But I’m using poblanos and he used Anaheims)
Ingredients:
3 T butter
3 T flour
1 c milk
1 1/2 c monterey jack cheese, shredded
1 c goat cheese, soft
2 poblano peppers, roasted, peeled, seeded, and chopped
2 scallions, chopped
Procedure:
In a cast iron skillet, make a roux by melting the butter and stirring in the flour. Then add the milk and whisk until smooth. Remove from heat and mix in the jack cheese. Then mix in the goat cheese, peppers and scallions. Return to the stove to heat up again and whisk a little more. You’re done. Dive in!

Mark SanCheese Dip (Queso Fundito)

Joe Guaccomole
Ingredients:
3 avocados (pick a nice one, not to firm, not too mushy)
3 roma tomatoes, diced and salted
1 jalapeno, minced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 lime, juiced
salt
pepper
Procedure:
Add the chopped, salted tomatoes to a bowl. Add the garlic and jalapeno and mix together. Dice up the avocado and add it to the bowl in 1/2 inch chunk. Mix together with a fork but don’t mash. Add the lime juice, salt and pepper. Mix again so the avocado starts to mush a bit but still has some chunkiness to it. Let sit for at least a half hour to allow the flavors to get to know each other. Easy, right? Guac was my first attempt at cooking ten years ago. Home run at first bat!

Joe Guaccomole

Touch Back with you next week!
oxo
-JZ





Girls Guide Pro Blog

13 09 2010

The lovely Katie Des Londe will be blogging about our Pro league!

Follow Along Here!





4 Drafts, 3 Deangelos, 2 Loads of Laundry, 1 Hangover

7 09 2010

3pm PST
The Girls Guide Pro debut draft was completed in 1 hr 2 min this afternoon. We’re a 14 team league all comprised of professionals. Interpret as you wish.
Here’s the damage:
Fat Sweaters
1. (14) Tom Brady (NE – QB)
2. (15) DeAngelo Williams (Car – RB)
3. (42) Beanie Wells (Ari – RB)
4. (43) Hakeem Nicks (NYG – WR)
5. (70) Jeremy Maclin (Phi – WR)
6. (71) Matt Forte (Chi – RB)
7. (98) Mike Wallace (Pit – WR)
8. (99) Green Bay (GB – DEF)
9. (126) Jermaine Gresham (Cin – TE)
10. (127) Julian Edelman (NE – WR)
11. (154) Bernard Berrian (Min – WR)
12. (155) David Garrard (Jac – QB)
13. (182) Dan Carpenter (Mia – K)
14. (183) Bernard Scott (Cin – RB)

4:45pm PST
The Battle of the Sexes draft was completed in an hour and 1 minute. This is a 12 team league with 15 rounds. Here’s the list of lucky men I now call mine.
Golf Fart & Urinals
1. (7) Frank Gore (SF – RB)
2. (18) Peyton Manning (Ind – QB)
3. (31) Pierre Thomas (NO – RB)
4. (42) Chad Ochocinco (Cin – WR)
5. (55) Wes Welker (NE – WR)
6. (66) Brent Celek (Phi – TE)
7. (79) Santana Moss (Was – WR)
8. (90) Johnny Knox (Chi – WR)
9. (103) Laurence Maroney (NE – RB)
10. (114) Philadelphia (Phi – DEF)
11. (127) Donovan McNabb (Was – QB)
12. (138) Dallas (Dal – DEF)
13. (151) Jermaine Gresham (Cin – TE)
14. (162) David Buehler (Dal – K)
15. (175) Julian Edelman (NE – WR)

6:30pm PST
The third draft was longer. I was on the phone with Allard the whole time. It took an hour and 33 mintues. On ESPN. Double drafted for the last few rounds. That’s serious fun. Here’s what we got:
LAST PICK BIATCH (I protested the team name but wasn’t going to push it.)
12 DeAngelo Williams, Car RB
13 Tom Brady, NE QB
36 Shonn Greene, NYJ RB
37 Michael Crabtree, SF WR
60 Ahmad Bradshaw, NYG RB
61 Pierre Garcon, Ind WR
84 Tony Gonzalez, Atl TE
85 Terrell Owens, Cin WR
108 Carson Palmer, Cin QB
109 Bernard Berrian, Min WR
132 Devin Aromashodu, Chi WR
133 Bengals D/ST, Cin D/ST
156 Devery Henderson, NO WR
157 Greg Olsen, Chi TE
180 Bernard Scott, Cin RB
181 Dan Carpenter, Mia K

7:30 PST
My last draft was the No Homers League (Simpsons theme, all guys plus mama). Boy do the boys overthink and stress during drafts. This one is 12 teams 16 rounds (including keeper round which was already set). And it took exactly 2.5 hrs. So without further ado, I present to you…
The Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoos:
Matt Schaub QB HOU
DeAngelo Williams RB CAR
Pierre Thomas RB NOR
Michael Crabtree WR SFO
Hakeem Nicks WR NYG
Dez Bryant WR DAL
Stephen Gostkowski K NWE
Philadelphia Eagles Def PHI
Donovan McNabb QB WAS
Mark Sanchez QB NYJ
LaDainian Tomlinson RB NYJ
Laurence Maroney RB NWE
Kevin Walter WR HOU
Bernard Berrian WR MIN
Robert Meachem WR NOR
Jermaine Gresham TE CIN

That’s it! All teams are drafted! Looking forward to the season opener on Thursday!!!





GG2FF Camp Draft – Labor Day

7 09 2010

We did it! I had half a league over to my place for an online draft. Each girl brought a laptop, vino, and a thirst for the unknown, and embarked on her very first fantasy football draft.  We had 14 brave souls sign up, so our slogan quickly was established as, “Girls Guide Camp takes it to 14.” (Eat me, Spinal Tap!) We had half the team spread across the country and they mostly checked in via video chat. (We’re so five years ago, we can’t stand it!) Everyone did a great job! (No, we don’t allow auto-draft, even in our newbie league. Yes, we smack talk when Beansie drafts all dorks and delinquents.) We seemed to have some drafting patterns: Jen got the Pierres, Beansie’s RB’s are both Moss, Laurie went for the Jacksons, Courtney’s sponsoring the Cowboys, Saints, and Vikings, etc.

Here’s who I drafted, (I kind of like them now which means I should hate them in the morning…)
Pajama Drama
1. (9) Frank Gore – RB SF
2. (20) Tom Brady – QB NE
3. (37) Marques Colston – WR NO
4. (48) Ahmad Bradshaw – RB NYG (Ya, RBs go thin quickly with 14 teams!)
5. (65) Vernon Davis – TE SF (Couldn’t bring myself to get Finley again…)
6. (76) Mike Wallace – WR PIT
7. (93) C.J. Spiller – RB BUF
8. (104) Matt Ryan – QB ATL
9. (121) Dez Bryant – WR CHI
10. (132) Miami – D/ST
11. (149) Darren Sproles – RB SD
12. (160) Julian Edelman – WR NE (Yes, I draft multiple times so I’m not playing against myself every week.)
13. (177) Matt Prater – K DEN
14. (188) Javon Walker – WR MIN (What, last pick… and he’s hot. Shut-up.)

We're drafting! Assume the position.


Girls Guide Camp's First Draft


C Twice video chats in!


The Tight Ends check in after explaining to her kids her choice for a team name







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