Girls' Guide to Fantasy Football!!!

Player Picture Disclaimer: I don’t mean to objectify the fine men of the NFL, this is actually how I identify them on TV. I don’t see the face, I see the name and number (and whatever is beneath it) running around the field. Hope you understand and are not offended.

DeSean Jackson PHI - WR

OK, I’m calling it now. This year’s Santonio Holmes (PIT) is DeSean Jackson (PHI), and this year’s Adrian Peterson (MIN) is Matt Forte (CHI). (I would have said McFadden last week since he, like AP, isn’t starting, but I’ve amended my prediction).

Matt Forte CHI- RB

I refuse to whine over Tom Brady, I’m actually taking it really well.  Fine, I feel like I’m going through a divorce. (Though I’d probably have to date a guy for more than a week to be in any position to say that…) Spa weekend anyone?!?!

Out of all of the big player injuries, the only ones I don’t own are Vince Young (TEN) and Nate Burleson (SEA), so I should be good to go this year, right?  It’s fine, I’ll be a racehorse coming down the home stretch.  If my Yankees can repeatedly lose like their job depended on it every April and then wake up come summer and still make it to the playoffs, so can I.  I have more faith in my banged up roster than I do in myself finding a husband in LA. Go team!

But enough about me, back to the entire NFL.

Studs and Duds of Week 1:

Studs are guys that totally showed up for work, Duds are those that were expected to have monster games, after which you would barely know they were on the field.

STUDS:

Michael Turner ATL - RB

Willie Parker PIT - RB

Drew Brees is BACK! NO - QB

Donovan McNabb PHI - QB

DUDS:

Torry Holt – STL WR, Braylon Edwards – CLE WR, Willis McGahee BAL RB actually didn’t take the field, and Carson Palmer – Cin QB

Now for the award section:

Best Man-Pile:

Most commonly occurring after a fumble, multiple men in tights will jump on top of each other in a pile in hopes that when the referees peel them off, they’ll find the bottom guy on their team has possession of the ball. This is usually accompanied by the remaining unpiled players jumping up and down and waving and pointing their hands in the direction of their endzone indicating that in fact their team does have the ball.
Here are some of the best of the week:

Car/SD Man-Pile

SF/ARI Man-Pile

Best Man-Hug:

When one player does something exciting (e.g. – a great tackle, a first down, etc.), their celebration often includes some kind of man hug… this could involve a helmet grab, a shoulder or butt pat, or an embrace followed by jumping up and down in unison.
Here are this week’s top man hugs:

Miami Man-Hug

JAX Man-Hug

Best Body Jump:

Usually found following a score, the typical ceremony involves players jumping up and flying through the air to smack their bodies against each other five feet off the ground. It’s mighty jubilant and I’d totally start doing it with my friends if I didn’t fear I’d be hospitalized as a result.
My favorite body jumps of the week are:

Eagles Body Jump

Chargers Body Jump

Great Football Player Names of the Week:

Maurice Morris, Jerricho Cotchery, and Chansi Stuckey

Week 1 Video Wrap-Up to come!!!

(as soon as I finish figuring out how to do iMovie video editing, stay tuned…)